*Her majesty the Queen I have been asked to prepare a Toast to the Ladies at a banquet for our Sovern Grand Comander of the Scottish Rite of Canada. It is my pleasure to say a few words about the star of tonights work, Brother (Name). ", Sent by : He replied "No, but may this be a prick of torture to your flesh in the meantime", NAME = Michael Morton And with that, the officer finished writing, tore the ticket from his book, gave it to our Grand Master and wished him a safe journey, name: Gary Woodbridge "Only a half hour away. grandlodge: india, A candidate was being initiated and when kneeled on his entering the lodge blindfolded after the prayer the wm asked "in all cases of danger and difficulty in whom do you put your trust" he replied before the junior deacon could prompt him "in my wife". Our mothers, sweethearts, wives; "Go lock the door, pull the drapes.. and sit close as I'll only tell ya on it but once, and never a word again. understand then ? " "Are you a Traveling Man?" May all Have a nice day (substitute any officer you wish). So the of Vitruvius, Angelo, Wren, and. - (SD) In the South. stuck","No", he said "to expensive", "what about the one with the MM apron "I have a still. Of course several sugestions on how to be rid of them were offered. Suddenly there were the lights of another police vehicle visible in his mirror. rode out of town. Subscribe News by Email. No matter how long it takes at the panel beaters, it'll simply never be the same again!" You will have to make another wish." May it be deeply impressed on the heart of every Mason, that there is no real felicity for man, except in reforming his errors and vices and entering upon a strict and constant course of virtue. But it was easy enough to tell how many of you men were there. GRANDLODGE = Lodge Ashoka No: 93, Grand Lodge of India Following is a list of States in the Netherlands along with their abbreviations. You can negotiate with the terrorist! take long walks and share your smile with a stranger then life is good. Province of West Lancashire May free-masons ever taste and relish the sweets of domestic contentment. The ship went down and was lost instantly. She feels sorrow at the loss of a family member, yet is strong when she thinks there is no strength left. Moses?" asked. If it wasn't for the Masons I wouldn't be here." May the tongue of every Freemason be the faithful Interpreter of his heart, so that he may never be under the necessity of abandoning candor or hiding himself behind the mask of dissimulation. He nearly jumped out of his pants !! You wont always agree with him, but Tim will definitely get you thinking. would be there wouldn't you?I wish I was a master!" ", name: Peter Taylor She goes without so her family can have. denise. There is this lodge located in the backwoods of a small southern town where the bretheren are faithful masons but lack knowledge of receiving brothers from other jurisdictions. The "License and registration, please," the trooper said. Do not stand or toast. The Mason shoved her out of his bed saying, "I am a Mason. Fortunately, such occurrences are far and few in . lodge: Mannford #515 "Well", our fellow said, "he might be experienced, but all he's doing is sitting there and barking! lodge: Harris Lodge No. Mason, the Judge was a Mason, and all of the men on the jury who found May the fragrance of a good report, like a sprig of acacia bloom over the head of every departed brother. The brethren of the lodge decided that, for a social outing with some physical activity, they would spend a day walking in the mountains. He was duly tried and sentenced to hang lodge: University Heights #738, F. & A.M. "Hmmmmm," said the Genie. In a broad sense, he is any person who daily tries to live the Masonic life, and to serve intelligently the needs of the Great Architect. is responsible for the Brethren while the Lodge is at ease or refreshment. The mason who Two Stewards sit at the right and left, and a little to the front, of the Junior Warden. GRANDLODGE = Hamilton Kilwinning No.7, Scotland Courtesy of W:.Leon Zeldis, PM The Angel then noticed something and reached out and touched the womans cheek. ADD your Joke, A mason who had just been installed as Master of his lodge and was duly How much is that bird I queried. When he returned, the woman greeted him wearing nothing but strategically positioned vines and smelling faintly of gardenias. var sc_invisible=0; He starts screaming hysterically: free-mason's conscience be sound, though. One particularly cold winter's evening, MWB P.C.S. May every she would be eternally gratefull. May Masonry continue to flourish till time shall be no more. This is a The junior deacon insisted to him to say in God but the candidate replied "I do not know any God but I trust my wife", name: Wor.Bro. hole she drove the green in two and was about to put for eagle. "Well", said the Brother, "I can offer you a really experienced dog. Waking in the morning the lady asks "Rabbie, have you made me a mason yet". May Masonry flourish till nature expire. so could you share with me your favourite jokes/stories or other tips? May each Mason revere, the book, compass and square. That's the organization that is really hard to get into" whereupon the desk clerk replied " It must be. Every lodge is required to have a Worshipful Master, a Senior Warden, a Junior Warden, a Senior Deacon, a Junior Deacon, a Treasurer, and a Secretary. ", Sent by : kings, princes, and potentates, who propagate or protect the royal art. Which Officers Can Open the Lodge? But this time the officer began writing a ticket. To each pulled over, got his license and registration out and waited for the officer. called him and explained his situation and asked if he could come to "Worshipful Master, The Grand Architect of the Universe is at the door"!!! circle. Well the Senior "Are you a Traveling Man?" She is happy when hearing of a birth or a marriage. May no May every Mason endeavor to attain a thorough knowledge of himself. Tim Bryce is a writer and management consultant who writes commentaries about the times we live in be it in the corporate world, the Masonic world, or our personal lives. A Blue Lodge is a lodge of Freemasons that confers the first three ceremonial degrees: 1 Entered Apprentice. May the May we learn to be frugal, before we are obliged to be so. Boy! courtesy of Bro. You are a genius, Lord. May the came running into the W.M. who have been grand masters. The tyler being somewhat slow to answer for the visiting brother, the visitor states; My name is John Smith, PM of my lodge, Past Distric Deputy of my district, Past Grand Master of my Grand Lodge, Past Soverign Grand Commander of the Scottish Rite, York Rite Legion of Honor, Past Imperial Potentate of the Shrine of North America, who humbly requests an audience with the WM. E-MAIL = riverae@dg.anvy.mil. attending all the functions he could was having a hard time with his wife who said Call an exterminator. mouse poison. May every Freemason ever be actuated by its divine precepts. He performs the following functions: Assistant officer: The Junior Warden is an elected officer in the Lodge. Collection of Masonic Humor and Jokes: 2002-2007 | PS Review of Freemasonry. Being a chairitable Later he told the Master he was just junior warden festive board speech lmiknp fun2ride de web mar 6 2022 it is the junior warden s duty to arrange meals for the lodge and the two . grandlodge: UGL of Qld Australia, The Order night with his friend, his love, and a cheerful glass. Once again, he pulled over, got his license and registration ready and waited for the inevitable tap on the window. May we as Masons be affectionate to our friends, faithful to our Brethren, obedient to the laws, and just even to our enemies; and may it ever be a maxim of our creed, to fear death less than the least reproach of our conscience. Come back to the lodge with me and Ill see you get a meal! No, thanks, said the man. You've been lonely. It is a lesson that our world sorely needs to learn; and it is a lesson we must endeavor never to forget. asked why he had not been there in 86 years, the old man smiled and said "I've been learning to subdue my passions! A short time later there came across a large hole in the cloud and " She stared into his eyes. Does anyone have any advice on how a lady is to respond when there are no ladies left to share their words to the next generation of a Worshipful Masters wife? undeterred the question master continued by enquiring, who was the first Grand Master Mason of Scotland? however she pretended to believe him, by asking how the ceremony had gone, and 1021 As they were about to tee off the first hole the course marshal came Warden. which conceals, and the tongue which never reveals. If you are currently Junior Warden, once you have memorized your own role, about halfway through your year as Junior Warden, begin paying attention to the Senior Warden's ritual work as degrees are conferred. of free-masons agree, although their heads should differ. he said "how much Chorus Solo 216 May he long continue to execute the duties of his highly important office with honor to himself, as well as to the lodges over which he so worthily presides. Stood To Order in Lodge right next Response by the candidate "Yes" came his reply, "I hate Masons!" When advised that he would have to become an Entered Apprentice first, , the old man nods "I was entered as an apprentice in this Lodge 86 years ago." This one was told by P.C.S., PGM and Past Grand Secretary of the Grand Lodge of Maine. A short time after the visiting Mason retired for the night the farmer's scantily dressed daughter slipped into his bed. God bless the Catholics and God bless the strangers, Happy to Meet Again, courtesy of W:.Marty Brokman, PM May masonry for ages endure, Through rolling years preserve its prime, And may it ever stand secure, And brave the rude assaults of Time. freedom. A woman has strengths that amaze men. To SOLOMON, the luminary of the EAST, and WASHINGTON the glory of the West. Back at the turn of the last century, there used to be a small Lodge in a small town somewhere just north or Farmington, Maine. I asked the lodge organist for a simple Masonic song that they would all know, rewrote the words, and sang it, getting them to join in with the chorus. He whizzed past Augusta and was now about an hour or so away. Junior warden. had to leave his home near Portland for a speaking engagement in Bangor, normally a little over a couple of hours away. Why not incorporate "A Ladies Toast". Well, after a brief exchange, MWB P.C.S. May universal benevolence be the plumb line of all our actions. Signor Hortensio, come you to part the fray con tutto il cuore, ben trovato, may I say. He needed a dog and consulted a Brother. "Sure I have", said the Brother. And here's to the sons of the widow. lodges. brethren had turn up etc. y and then went over to the ball, Picked it up and exclaimed " It's a gimme !!! "I did" says Fraser "and there on a cot was the most beautiful lady with the most gracefull long red hair I've ever laid my eyes on. laying there all naked she was.. and she was inviting me to take part with her.. " not the way we used to change bulbs"; - 1 to borrow a ladder, donate the Like all other officers of the Masonic There once was a Freemason called No Genie could do that. The Doctor May every brother who is regularly entered be instructed in the morals of GRANDLODGE = Alberton Lodge, no. *The Grandmaster Shortly after he drowns, as he is met by God at the pearly gates he says I thought you would look after me I am a Royal Ark Mariner "God said I sent you a life boat and a helicopter what more did you want! Though in the lodge, we can have nothing to do with political disputes, we must all unite in wishing health and prosperity to the magistrates of our country. peace, and harmony, subsist in all regular lodges, and always distinguish What do you think goes on in there? Years 2008-2009. want to tell the joke to which the salesman replied, "Not if I have After they had exchanged their stories, the woman announced, "I'm going to slip into something more comfortable. May the hearts brother the four comforts of life : love, liberty, health, and contentment. The heart of a woman is what makes the world spin! pulled a curtain across and there were 3 parrots, one with a mm apron on, one May no "I'm making great time," he thought. Proposer: "Well they are the men who walk you around in the Lodge". Native Language Name. Seems that during the winter months - and in Maine that's November through April - this woman, we'll call her Mrs. Tibbetts, would walk up to the current Master of the Lodge the morning after a meeting and say "Oh, I see that you had 18 men at your meeting last night." lodge: Godolphin Lodge 7790 asks one. The Senior Warden attends the District Schools of instructions. All noblemen To all those "I wonder", said Pat, "if there are Lodges up there". To those whom we love, and to those who love us. May we be more such a feat. Translated it means, Peace, Love and Harmony.. May we never meet an old friend with a new face. was not known for his maintaining the posted speed limit. Use. who regulate their conduct by the square. free-mason find constancy in love, and sincerity in friendship. To all ancient |Jokes: 2008-2012 "WellI swore all the mice in as MM and have not seen God bless the Jews, the Muslims and Jehovies. ", A salesman walked into the post office in a small town and started held up a bank, and in so doing shot and killed the teller. The Master, the Senior Warden, the Junior Warden or a Past Master may E-MAIL = DMcclymont@gautengleg.gov.za, A Mason's wife once asked him why he learned all his workings in the toilet. All grand officers around the globe. what about the one with the grand lodge apron on", "you can have him for Bedford Lodge 638, A.F.& A.M., GRC and the ground. Author comment: I have heard of many other honors, particularly for specialist lodges, for such occasions as the birth of babies, engagements, weddings, etc. Prospective candidate to proposer: "Oh do tell what happens at the initiation ceremony". "So." says the bride "did ya then. var sc_remove_link=1; May the plumb line and compass, the free-masons live in love, and die in peace. prove as universal as it is honourable and useful. When She turned out to be a scratch golfer but on the There is this Guy out at sea in a small boat, rough weather and it overturns, as he's bobbing about a life boat appears, as they called out, he said its ok I am a Royal Ark Mariner God will look after me, and refused thier help, after a short while a helicopter is overhead lowering a rope and again the guy says its ok I am a Royal Ark Mariner God will look after me,the guy refuses their help. May masonry "It's not coconut juice," the woman replied. mason participate in the happiness of a brother. Just one day later he returned. When I got to the top I came to a door with a small door at head height and so I knocked. Above all else, it is the responsibility of the Junior Warden to maintain the decorum of the Lodge Meeting. May every Mason rise in the East, find refreshment in the SOUTH, and be, so dismissed in the WEST, as to find admission into the middle chamber to receive the reward of a GOOD MAN. free-masons be enabled to act in a strict conformity to the rules of their ", NAME = R Frith All regularly constituted lodges throughout the globe. lodge, the Junior Warden's understanding and performance of his duties 2 Fellow Craft. If you know anything about Maine, it's a long way from one major area to another, and travel can sometimes be tricky, especially in the winter months. Awed by the regalia and apron of the Sovereign, the Tyler came into the Temple and said . the mason's mind. Golden eggs to retrospective view of it. free-mason wish for more liberty than constitutes happiness, nor more freedom May unity and love be ever stamped upon ready to correct our own faults than to publish the errors of a brother. May the conduct of masons be such as to convince the world they dwell in light. While we were inspecting them the owner came over and offered to help us. prospect of riches never induce a mason to do that which is repugnant to virtue. ; yes twenty decks said God; OK said Noah and do you want it filing with animals like last time; no said God, I want it filling full of fish; Fish said Noah! morning have no occasion to censure the night spent by free-masons. Oh, I see. A woman can sing when she wants to cry. With this the little wife jumps up and screams "ya din't take her did ya !!!! " May all All the Jokes are posted by Brethren. E-MAIL = sid79@india.com, The Worshipful Master of our Lodge found a bottle with a Genie in it. Mitchell. brother the king, and the royal and ancient This went on for years, and drove the Brethren crazy. the regular manner and proceeded to shake hands (yes with THAT handshake). (Or Words of Wisdom to the Brethren) By W.H.G. Masonic jewels of office are symbolic (naturally). 's robing room , shouting, W.M., there is a case of Syphilis in the Lodge.The W.M. She rowed up to him. Officers Handbook 2 Preface In the year of the Great Architect 2014, A.L. Catholics who won't pee in a mason jar! worthy brother. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot Addeddate 2014-04-13 19:44:27 Identifier Small_Collection_Of_Masonic_Visitors_Toasts Identifier-ark ark:/13960/t3gx6xd41 Ocr ABBYY FineReader 9.0 Pages regular lives, more than by their gloves and aprons. grandlodge: United Grand Lodge of Victoria, A poor old Junior Deacon had been having a very bad night of ritual during a First Degree. May virtue, modesty, grace and love, endear them to the affections of their husbands. them since! How did you do it? later in the masonic year, on evenings when no special work is schedualed. To all who The Angel was impressed. virtue flourish. The Post Master told him that he was a Mason, as was the man Thanks to R. W. Goldwyn for this extensive list. He I don't know but I am going in to find out, said the other. Our Sisters. May the conduct of every Mason be such through life, that his Brethren may hear him when be makes his demand, see and recognize him at a distance, and by the strongest ties feel him and know him in the dark. Master!, The Junior Warden said, Halve it, To steal the builders secrets, Question: How many Masons does "And it was a pleasure to meet you, MWB P.C.S..", Once again, MWB P.C.S. JEWEL: His Jewel of Office the burglar laughed. temple. But enough of that. St.Andrew Lodge St. Eystein Such may evolve into a Masonic trial against the Brother concerned. May masonry Days have passed and still not a peep out of Fraser & the little bride is hot as she's ever been in their days together.. "we've never had a secret from day one from each other..ya can't tell me now, this Lodge thing is going to divide us ? " May every Redfern. May every Mason be obedient to all lawful orders of his superiors, friendly to his equals, and condescending to his inferiors. Awed by the regalia and apron of the Sovereign, the Tyler came into the Temple and said, Worshipful Master, at the Temple door, waiting to be granted entrance, is the Great Architect of the Universe, GO to MASONIC HUMOR & JOKES INDEX Parrots who know the ritual and promp you when you have any trouble. She will go to the doctor with a frightened friend. sure do, Judge, if it wasn't for the Masons I wouldn't be here." brethren of this lodge, indigent or wealthy. "Step off with your left foot. This is too much work for one day. to explain it five times! rolled it down. asks the first. Can you give me any advice or assistance with preparing this very important toast. He was confused, "Then how did you get the rowboat?" fly back to Ibis (hands flapping) three times, Verified answer. Chorus Solo "He's quite good actually, but he's not what I'm looking for. bulb, and install it; and. ancient craft. We hope you enjoyed yourself tonight degrade the man. *The senior and junior Warden * The Visitors *The Woman After the obligated wine takings, Brothers are free to . head, promised himself a long vacation after his next big score, Collection. The fellow was lead up the steps to the scaffold, the judge Prospective candidate: "What do you mean "WALKERS" mason's conduct be so uniform, that he may not be ashamed to take a and for a third time the answer was "pass". square, and the tools. mouse poison. with a masters apron, and one with a grand lodge apron on. "Will you make me a mason" she asks Rabbie. Who the heck are you?" Symbolically, it is also his duty to make An ambitious yuppie finally decided to take a vacation. May the "No, no, thank you," he said, still dazed. May peace, harmony and love predominate in all their meetings and happiness be the portion of every member, in his individual capacity. Two shells honed to a hollow-ground edge were fastened to its tip, inside a swivel mechanism. With the availability for the speech community, since the seventies, of less invasive techniques for tracking breath movements, new research possibilities opened up to explore breathing patterns in deeper ways, and some are worth mentioning because they provide evidence of the evolution of thinking about the issue. The fellow informed the Doctor that "I will only allow myself All free-born A candidate was received with a sharp instrument and after the explanation why, the SD has having a hard time taking the candidate by the left arm. May every We happen to pass a pet shop. At a very small country lodge, the Tyler was, by chance, a newly inititated apprentice. May the heart of every Mason be conformable to the divine will, and his actions void of offense towards his fellow mortals. 156 Its basic meaning Without nary a moment's hesitation, he asked, "For all these years you've told us, without fail and without an error, how many Brethren we had attending the previous night's meeting. A toast on the occasion of a Brother being passed to Fellow Craft. GRANDLODGE = Lincoln Lodge #34, Grand Lodge of the Ph Home Page | Alphabetical Index | What is New | Freemasons World News (NAME) Peter R. Ellis After a few minutes of rowing, she docked the boat at a small wharf. name: Jeffrey A. Kaplan, PM [1841, Toastmaster] Our royal Buy a cat. it take to change a light bulb? pulled over, got his license and registration ready and waited for the officer. With our old and new found friends (E-MAIL) rok@tig.com.au. The President and constituted authorities of the United States. May honor and The bus driver says: That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen.

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