Why not Despair, Guilt, Rage, and Grief? Get future posts byemail,oryou can follow us onInstagram,Pinterest,andFacebook. Its so fuckin heroic.George Carlin, The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.George Carlin, If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?George Carlin, I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? In this article, we present to you some of the famous George Carlin Quotes on Government, Marriage, Love, Life, Religion, Death, Voting, Freedom, Politics and More with their meaning. Its so fuckin heroic. George Carlin, Most people work just hard enough not to get firedand get paid just enough not to quit. George Carlin, Bipartisan usually means that a larger-than-usual deception is being carried out. George Carlin, If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, youre going to have selfish, ignorant leaders. George Carlin, Theres no present. Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure. return false; The table is tilted, folks. Thats exactly what I want you to think. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. if(cookiePair[0] === name) { We and our partners use cookies to Store and/or access information on a device. When he is not writing in his favorite coffee shop, Igor spends most of his time reading, traveling, producing house music, and capturing light with his camera. If holy people are so interested in politics, government, and public policy, let them pay the price of admission like everybody else. The first one is: 'Never believe ANYthing the government says.' George Carlin Believe, Government, Rules To Live By 48 Copy quote Tell people an invisible man in the sky created all things, they believe you. And far from staying to the safer path, he leapt time and again past the cliff of common wisdom, in the hopes of rattling us into questioning the way we live. George Carlin quotes government sayings, in particular, are thought-provoking. My first rule: I don't believe anything the government tells me. Every day I beat my own previous record for the number of consecutive days Ive stayed alive. Inspirational George Carlin Quotes 1. Weve added years to life, not life to years. George Carlin, Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck. George Carlin, Thats why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it. George Carlin, Dont just teach your children to readteach them to question everything that they readteach them to question everything. George Carlin, Weve added years to life, not life to years. George Carlin, Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music. George Carlin, In America, anyone can become president. Use your fucking heads! v. Pacifica Foundation, in which a 54 decision affirmed the government's power to regulate indecent material on the public airwaves (wikipedia). People are wonderful. " George Carlin 14. A good motto to live by: Always try not to get killed. Your email address will not be published. On The Simple Solution To Parenthood's Most Difficult Question "Parents are burning these kids out on structure. var node = document.getElementsByTagName("script")[0]; Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that. Quotes, 60 Confidence Quotes to Help You Understand Your Self-Worth, Chris Evans Inspiring Quotes on Happiness, Success, and Being Laser Focused on Love, Strangers Spring Into Action to Save a Driver in Crisis on a Busy Road [VIDEO], 8-Year-Old Finds Out His Favorite Waffle House Waiter Is Hiding a Secret Doesnt Hesitate to Raise $64,000 for Him, White Woman Refuses to Listen to Dad After He Forbid Her From Marrying a Black Man 60 Years Later, Theyre Still Together, Kansas City Chiefs Fans Donate Over $300,000 to Buffalo Childrens Hospital After Dramatic Playoff Win Versus Rivals. An example of data being processed may be a unique identifier stored in a cookie. Authors. In America, anyone can become president. The first one is: 'Never believe ANYthing the government says.'. var useSSL = "https:" == document.location.protocol; Did you enjoy this article? Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. George Carlin, 53. Whether you agree with him or not, George Carlins views on government are definitely worth considering. Its totally FREE. If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, youre going to have selfish, ignorant leaders. If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like everyone else. }()); We would love to hear your thoughts, so dont be shy and comment below! When youre born you get a ticket to the freak show. Question it, and try to see the world for what it actually is, as opposed to what someone or some company or some organization or some government is trying to represent it as, or present it as, however they've mislabeled it or dressed it up or told you. Did you ever stop to thnk about all the people we kill? If your kid needs a role model and you aint it, youre both fucked. George Carlin, 32. Napalm & Silly Putty, Hyperion. Apparently, were not ready for that! George Carlin, 72. Just daydreaming. To me, authority is something that a freer spirit, a more independent mind, and a person who can handle the world, doesnt need guidance from. George Carlin, 61. Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. This made him outstanding. Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. Trying to be happy by accumulating possessions is like trying to satisfy hunger by taping sandwiches all over your body. George Carlin, 45. Every person you look at; you can see the universe in their eyes, if you're really looking. The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity. googletag.enableServices(); Think of how stupid the average person is, and then realize that half of them are stupider than that. George Carlin, 40. I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another. George Carlin, 69. I hate a group of people with a 'common purpose'. Theyre always people who tell us to live together in harmony and try to love one another: Jesus, Gandhi, Lincoln, John Kennedy, Bobby Kennedy, Medgar Evers, Malcolm X, Martin Luther King, John Lennon. They own you. born on May 12, 1937, Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Life is not measured by the breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breaths away. googletag.pubads().collapseEmptyDivs(true); At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. Goalcast inspires the world through stories. Required fields are marked *. return true; 4994. Its only a piece of cloth. George Carlin, 75.The things that matter in this country have been reduced in choice, there are two political parties, there are a handful of insurance companies, there are six or seven information centers.. but if you want a bagel there are 23 flavors. George Carlin, If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?George Carlin, I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. return cookiePair[1]; The future will soon be a thing of the past. Im sure it made the work seem that much more urgent. George Carlin, 27. George Carlin Quotes Government George Carlin American Comedian born on May 12, 1937, died on June 22, 2008 George Denis Patrick Carlin was an American stand-up comedian, social critic, actor, and author. The only person who is with us our entire life is ourselves. George Carlin "The planet is fine. Seems like a big waste of time to me! url = "https://s.gr-assets.com/assets/mobile/phone_images-9e9093f0cfddba8c2b1e815375d976a3.css"; Deal with it.George Carlin, Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.George Carlin, He and if there is a God, I am convinced he is a he, because no woman could or would ever fuck things up this badly.George Carlin, I dont know how you feel, but Im pretty sick of church people. var sourcesToHideBuyFeatures = ["ebfg_gr", "ebfg_fb", "ebfg_fbm", "ebfg_tw", Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music. George Carlin was no stranger to controversy. " George Carlin I often warn people: Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, There is no I in team. What you should tell them is, Maybe not. We havent tried that for a while. George Carlin. Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music. George Carlin, 4. Here is one I would suggest: Alcohol will turn you into the same asshole your father was.George Carlin,When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. George Carlin, 9. It can help you a lot.George Carlin, Isnt making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?George Carlin, I often warn people: Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, There is no I in team. What you should tell them is, Maybe not. George Carlin's full name was George Denis Patrick Carlin. It can help you a lot. George Carlin, 8. I really tried to believe that, but I gotta tell you, the longer you live, the more you look around, the more you realize, something is fucked up.George Carlin, When youre born into this world, youre given a ticket to the freak show. Weve learned how to make a living but not a life. 4. No money to be made off of the homeless. George Carlin > Quotes > Quotable Quote (?) Resources. Nothing is mentioned, though, about cursing a lack of candles.George Carlin, When someone asks you, A penny for your thoughts, and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?George Carlin, The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music.George Carlin, Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bull shit they teach you in school.George Carlin, I have as much authority as the Pope. Never argue with an idiot. [CDATA[ The challenge is to find it. In this blog post, weve compiled some of his most compelling quotes on the subject for you to consider as well! var stylesheet = document.createElement("link"); He was regarded as an influential and significant comic of all time. I think people should be allowed to do what they want. the important thing is to, first of all, question everything you read or hear or see or are told. Thats the only thing keeping it and expanding it wherever possible. George Carlin, 57. died on June 22, 2008, George Denis Patrick Carlin was an American stand-up comedian, social critic, actor, and author. My advice: just keep movin straight ahead. I think that speaks for itself. Your cat thinks the dog's an asshole. George Carlin, The Christians gave Him Sunday, the Jews gave Him Saturday, and the Muslims gave Him Friday. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? Carlin and his older brother, Pat, were primarily raised by their mother in Manhattan's Morningside Heights neighborhood. Its no secret that George Carlin was a bit of a political philosopher. After all, he was one of the most successful comedians of all time! What if I want to have a crappy day?George Carlin, Not only do I not know whats going on, I wouldnt know what to do about it if I did.George Carlin, Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit.George Carlin, So, have a little fun. The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept. Dont sweat the petty things and dont pet the sweaty things. By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth. function q(c, r) { Im not sure thats the way to fight discrimination. Careful, if you think too much, theyll take you away. George Carlin, 77. If you vote and you elect dishonest, incompetent people into office who screw everything up, you are responsible for what they have done. Everyone smiles in the same language. George Carlin, 35. We have the war on crime, the war on cancer, the war on drugs. Property is theft. It doesnt only represent the good things. We all need to let loose and laugh at things once in a while and making other people laugh as well as think and find meaning behind your jokes is an exceptional talent George Carlin has. }, Period. stylesheet.href = url; It creates a hostile work environment. Igor is a SEO specialist, designer, and freelance writer. //]]>. //]]> That's the problem. George Carlin > Quotes (?) A = p.createElement(s); Religion class was always an easy class. "//securepubads.g.doubleclick.net/tag/js/gpt.js"; Everyone should try to scratch their name on the bomb of life. So, I dislike and despise groups of people but I love individuals. They own everything. "I have a right, you have no right, we have a right." Folks I hate to spoil your fun, but. I started this website because I wanted to help people like you to maximize their potential and achieve their dreams. Well, its Gods will. Thy Will Be Done. Fine, but if its Gods will, and Hes going to do what He wants to anyway, why the fuck bother praying in the first place? When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. You have no choice. There is a mistake in the text of this quote. [CDATA[ I hate a group of people with a common purpose. The people are fucked. George Carlin, May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house. George Carlin, Some people have no idea what theyre doing, and a lot of them are really good at it. George Carlin, Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. George Carlin, We have multiplied our possessions but reduced our values. 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The following quotes are some of the most thought provoking sentences youll ever read. }); , My advice: just keep moving straight ahead. After all, he was one of the most successful comedians of all time! A person of good intelligence and of sensitivity cannot exist in this society very long without having some anger about the inequality and its not just a bleeding-heart, knee-jerk, liberal kind of a thing it is just a normal human reaction to a nonsensical set of values where we have cinnamon flavored dental floss and there are people sleeping in the street. George Carlin, 68. Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.. Are these people kidding? I've set my own rules to live by. This is what we have to offer. Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Its so fuckin heroic. George Carlin, 18. The government doesnt care about you, or your children, or your rights, or your welfare, or your safety. //]]> We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. George Carlin was one of the most iconic comedians of all time and he had a lot to say about government. Carlin was noted for his black comedy and his thoughts on politics, the English language, psychology, religion, and various taboo subjects. } You know what they ought to do with churches? Theres a humorous side to every situation. If youre born in America you get a front row seat.George Carlin, Dont sweat the petty things and dont pet the sweaty things.George Carlin, If its true that our species is alone in the universe, then Id have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.George Carlin,Napalm & Silly Putty. All you had to do was suspend the logic and reasoning you were being taught in all the other classes. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, Laugh often, long and loud. Actually, I think that class was called Religion. We think in language. If it requires a uniform, its a worthless endeavor. George Carlin, 11. The planet is fine. As for the poor, they tell us theyve lost all incentive because weve given them too much money. Thats the only thing keeping it and expanding it wherever possible. } Lists. George Carlin. Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. George Carlin, 26. George Carlin Philosophy, Real, Lying 192 Copy quote I've set my own rules to live by. He's the subject of a new documentary. Famous Quotes by George Carlin about Politics Kevin Winter/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty Images By Daniel Kurtzman Updated on 06/20/18 "In America, anyone can become president. Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? } catch (err) { May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house. Be happy with what youve got, because the owners of this country dont want that. What really ought to be said after one of these so-called tragedies is, Let the scarring begin.George Carlin,When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? Share your thoughts in the comments below! ' George Carlin, 30. I think people should be allowed to do what they want. #privileges. They never mention that part to us, do they? George Carlin, 50. "Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. My first rule: I don't believe anything the government tells me. Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. You know how I define the economic and social classes in this country? The people are fucked.George Carlin, A good motto to live by: Always try not to get killed.George Carlin, Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.George Carlin, I think I am, therefore, I am I think.George Carlin, Everyone smiles in the same language.George Carlin, People who say they dont care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they dont care what people think.George Carlin, Conservatives want live babies so they can train them to be dead soldiers. The Catholic Church alone could wipe out the national debt if all you did was tax their real estate.George Carlin, In America, anyone can become president. I just dont have as many people who believe it.George Carlin, How come when its us, its an abortion, and when its a chicken, its an omelet?George Carlin. Forget the politicians. American - Comedian May 12, 1937 - June 22, 2008. Its because volunteers work for no pay. //

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