It just would not be a good situation for DH to be drunk in the delivery room. Alcoholism is a condition that occurs when someone becomes dependent on alcohol to the point where it controls their life. We had to track him down when it was time for my epidural and after that he fell asleep. At 7 am, doctor broke my water. I just looked at him and siad Seriously!?! When you sent the call out, you said husbands, and I totally forgot what my dad did the night I was born. Its not a movie wherein things change quickly. He was only slightly better with our third. When we face problems we cannot solve, we work on someting we can. Its a disorder or an, How to Deal With Someone Who Blames You for Everything, 15 Ways How to Have Self-Control in a Relationship. While at the hospital, my husband (then boyfriend), wasnt allowed into the theater with me, so he decided to go watch rugby at the pub. When I called him an hour later because I was 9 centimeters he said he was at Sams buying Tupperware. 45 minutes later, we left the house in a crazy snowstorm. I felt bad,infact still feeling vexed, Mine did the same thing I had to send my pap out to go buy my undies, Thats why I called my girlfriend to go buy underwear for me, cant trust men with that. So I went about my day normally and really thought something was going on around 3pm. When you go through what women go through in labor and delivery, you can tell us about being bitchy. I was so exhausted. All I could do at that point was laugh. There is absolutely a possibility she'll go into labor and need him. Some women experience other symptoms of labor with a bloody show: Cramping: You may feel period-like cramps that come and go over the course of hours or even days. "I finally snapped and said that I wasn't going to name my child an ugly name that I don't like for the sake of a woman that doesn't even like me," she writes. For many women, pregnancy can be a stressful time. My brother gets a Popeyes meal for my husband and tries to eat it in the hospital room with me. Medicated: Yes. NOW I have to remind him, when he rolls his eyes knowingly seeing movies where women scream in pain during labor, that it really IS realistic too, even if it was not what he observed! I was so out of it by this point (having no pain medication at all) that I did not know my husband had helped. Then 14 hours and a baby boy later, he called to let everyone at the office (a family business) know the good news. Holy fuuk. And the idea that being in labor will sober up a buzzed husband is absurd, it may make him seem sober but I'd bet dollars to doughnuts that he'd blow over the limit (or really close to it) on a breathalyzer test--that's a great way to get to L&D, in a police cruiser while your husband goes to the drunk tank. I went home, took a shower, fed the cats, and came back a few hours later to strange looks from the nurses who cared for my baby while I was gone. -Katie. Luckily, my own husband was a peach! Not saying you aren't important to him..I'm sure you mean the world to him but having a child is a whole new/different kind of love that might just make him realize the drinking like he does needs to slow down. My husband went home the next day and brought me some things, namely a mens xl t-shirt that said Wanna Play Doctor? on it. My hero. It's not much to ask for him to give up drinking for a couple of weeks or to just tone it down to a couple just in case so that he can still drive ina pinch. "With . Mine said I was making a spectacle of myself while in an induced labor with back to back contractions. Im in labor! They might have difficulties controlling their emotions and be prone to anger or violent behavior when drunk. Every nurse who came to check on me kept asking me if my husband was coming to be with me. I told my husband in the morning that I had been in labor most of the night (he slept through it). This can help you deal with issues and challenges more easily and effectively. I even brought him the timer and paper and pen, so he wouldnt have to get up. We were on our way to the hospital by 6:30am. Take their thoughts and opinions into consideration before you make any decisions. A woman seduces her husband at Halloween party and then finds out he switched costumes with someone else. Little do they know. I hope you haven't given up on this post. He did later apologize. I think if he is unwilling to decrease the drinking NOW he is going to be unwilling to read anything you give him. Third, I would look into more long term plans on how to unwind after a long day at work. I stayed at home as long as I could (we live 5mins drive from the hospital). You know, the stuff you still hold over his head. Well, setting up limits for them. (Nurses are usually fabulous but it is always nice to have your own personal support person). While I was in labor, sweating like a pig and hooked up to every wire imaginable with waaaay too many things up my vag, he sat back in a chair and said wow, Im really comfortable in this chair. Ummm Im so glad for you!! since the 4th month. Then I proceeded to time them for an hour (so he could continue sleeping). He didnt answer, because he was ASLEEP since hed been working so hard. I would talk to him on a day he doesn't work like people said, and maybe keep a taxi service on speed dial. good luck! Mortified. Preterm labor can be risky for you and your baby. Since I had to have a c-section he stayed in the hospital with me the 3 days sleeping on the couch and changed ALL the diapers. I hope for the long term something or someone can get through to him so he can find a different way to relax. All I can think of is - How in the world did you get pregnant? I could even understand maybe a beer or glass of wine a night (which I still think every night is pushing it) BUT 5+ a nightdo you think that is normal behavior? Also I agree with a pp that it should be a conversation on the weekend or when he's realaxed and preferably sober. This is not an average, it is the maximum recommended amount for any given day. Good grief you have issues. We went to the urologist and he laughed out loud when my DH said that he was a moderate drinker and then told him that he usually had 1 or 2 beers a day. Binge drinking is a kind of alcoholism. After being in labor all day and delivering at 9:00 at night we got almost no sleep. And often I wonder if this is healthy. I would be concerned about YH having 5 drinks in one night on a regular basis. Away." In hindsight, I love having pictures from the delivery room. took a look and her and said he was glad it was over and that she looked like a spider monkey. So the end result was his own personal police escort to the hospital. I'm guesing it's pretty important. We had attended Lamaze together and learned the stages of labor. It concerned me, I spoke to him about it, and he stopped. "She went into labour.": she started giving birth (generally means her waters broke or she otherwise started experiencing labour pains) we're focusing on the moment the labour started (moment in time, not duration) "She was in labour for 3 hours.": we're focusing on the length of the labour (duration, not moment in time) A therapist or counselor will be able to help him overcome his addiction and lead a more fulfilling life. Oh well, possibly because it was the day before I gave birth to our 3rd child, Jack. One of the most commonly talked about signs of impending labor, many women begin cleaning and re-arranging baby items in the days or hours before labor begins. He will NEVER live that down. Call a sibling or a friend and have them be at the ready to bring you to the hospital on the off chance your husband decides to booze it up with his co-workers. My son is adopted but we were able to be at the birth. (But I still decided to stay 2 more hours at home because the nurse said to wait it out when I called them. It may be harsh but is needed. That's why it's important to do the things that make you happy, such as hobbies, movies, great food - whatever floats your boat. Even if they "handle their liquor well" they are drunk at that point. We couldnt wake him up, he was barely opening his eyes when the baby crowned. It was winter so between contractions I had to warm up the car and take my bags out. I know you don't want to hear this, but you really need to read up on alcoholism. I gave birth in a Cambodian hospital that, well lets say was set up with top notch 1950s style equipment. Youre not to take it and should face it with confidence. Most of the responses ignore the real issues, blame it on men being stupid, or just excuse his behavior. My husband has never gotten a drivers license so I had to drive us the 25 minutes to the hospital while dealing with early contractions. a. anna242007. Amy Dickinson. She gives me her phone number . Haha! Frankly this scares me. My hubby is a talker, too. Ignore your husband's alcoholism and start getting used to doing things as a single parent. -- A pregnant doctor unexpectedly went into early labor while delivering another woman's child. I can't believe the ridiculously stupid things being said to defend alcohol abuse here. If it's 5 hard drinks every night I would say that's a bit excessive to unwind. At that point I told him that if I were to go into labor and he was drunk he WOULD NOT be there for the birth of our baby. I dont remember anything I said or did after that. If that doesn't work,I have two thoughts. I agree not to do it when he's about to grab a drink because then he will just get irritated with you. Jack Morley, the giant baby, was born just after 8am. As if I wasnt even there, In front of them. Know your own limitations. And spell it out that being there means being sober for the next few weeks, (and really after the baby comes). 9 months or so? I asked him to rub my aching back and he refused. Only when you will make them realize that it is a problem and it puts you in an awkward position afterward, they might understand the intensity of the issue and will look for a solution. Is this the best way though? When he got home, he dropped his phone in a stock pot that was soaking in the sink. I was two weeks overdue, had been induced and then sent home because nothing was happening. And please feel free to add your husbands own egregious efforts below. Just have a back-up plan ready so you don't need to stress about himmaybe a family member lives close by? Hiding bottles or drinking secretly so that family will not know what . I thought he was bad, but now I see he was just average. I was furious! Suffer, dear. He finally agreed, but not until he took a shower and fixed himself breakfast! Reach out to rescue them only when they seek out help. After the haircut I assume we will be leaving for the hospital and then he informs me he needs to take a shower to get the hair off. Unfortunately, real life doesnt always abide by my blogging schedule and sis gave birth last Friday night! I laughed out loud at several of these and realized that men just want to minimize the birthing. I was induced w/our first, and it took a while for things to kick in. I was a journalist for five years. Labour won't "sober him up" and make it safe for him to drive. First, would he normally drive after 5 drinks? This classic, tell-tale sign of labor can appear as a big gush, or it can happen in a slow, light stream. I want to know how old the OP and her H are as well as the ages of some of the responders who are so sure their H's will slow down the boozehound behavior closer to their edds. My mom always tells the story of when she was in labor with my sister, on Thanksgiving Day, and somewhere around 20-so hours of labor my dad ate a full Thanksgiving dinner, turkey drumstick and all, right in front of her. We called to tell him to come immediately. Obviously if I am in labor I will not be driving myself but I am sure once we get closer to my EDD then he will slow it down. Can he be trusted to take care of your LO when he's drinking that heavily? By talking to him about your problems, you will be able to get the support you need to overcome these challenges and move on with your life. This happened to my friend. After 19 hours of back labor and an emergency c-section, my ex went bowling with his parents. So say he is out for a work meeting until 6, and he had 2 glasses of wine. Not during labor, but our almost 10 pound baby ended up in the NICU for low oxygen saturation. Thank you all for this! With our second child, he said, Whats the problem, youve been through this before..? He hasn't had one drink since that night because he knows I'm serious. Put together a back-up plan now because none of this is acceptable (not his drinking, buzzed driving or your calling his parents to essentially tattle on him). They might have difficulties controlling their emotions and be prone to anger or violent behavior when drunk. However, Phil and I are pretty much the masters of the silent fight. So my dad went bowling. Driving drunk is a big effing deal. I had been on a contraction monitor the whole time so my husband could see how much pain I was in. I feel your pain! So, that's the fvcked up part. My DH does not drink every night but he is a binge drinker when he/we drink. Upon completion of said EP, he gave it to the neighbor. He is lucky I didnt kill him. It was league night, after all. posts, and comments anonymously, in any medium. This is YOUR own husband being an alcoholic. around 9 he came to bed, moved me over and tried to go to sleep. Probably my biggest moment of suppressed anger started on the 2nd of December, 2006. One suggestion was to bring food just in case I delivered in the middle of the night and the cafeteria was closed (everyone said Id be STARVING after delivery). I write about that struggle & stuff. My husband fell in a deep sleep and would not wake up to me calling him. Get weekly updates on baby and your body. He said he needed to shower and run a couple of errands and get some lunch. She just had another baby and he quit drinking 4 weeks before her due date just to be safe. My experience is pretty tame compared to most of these! My hubby has a habit of drinking a lot (over 5 drinks in an evening) after a rough day at work, and I'm worried I'll go into labor, and he'll be extremely buzzed. We checked into the hospital at 7am, they started pitocin by 8am, and he only stepped out of the room twice (to smoke :boo:) until 8pm when E was born. Your water better not break on my leather seats!. In addition, you should also come up with a list of goals that you want to achieve as a couple once you are done with treatment so that you can lead a more productive and happy life together. Into the car it went. I was in labor (induced) for 48 hours while my husband was uncomfortable in his chair and feeling nauseous from a sandwich he ate. So I called him to tell him to hurry and get there. I thought that was all obvious to DH but apparently I was wrong. For this pregnant mother, her escape was playing bingo. The longer you hide your head in the sand the bigger the issue will get. After Amy Lam prematurely went into labor and gave birth to their baby at home, her husband, Gilbert Kwok, thought the worst was over. He came home around 5 when my contractions were about 2 minutes apart and proceeded to watch tv and eat dinner. We keep quiet about it, yet are both so in tune with one another, we know exactly the minute something is up. 1.) Want Mommy Shorts delivered daily or weekly to your inbox? Out of all the natural ways to induce labor at home, nipple stimulation is one of the most reliable options. And to all the posters making excuses: it doesn't matter if it's beer or liquor. It was like something from a movie. Try to apeal to the protector in him and let him know how much you need him there. Thank you! We rarely, if ever, have an all-out shout out loud, call the cops, argument. Its amazing he still had the equipment to impregnate me one more time time!!!! I still give him crap about it almost four years later now. Pack your own hospital bag. Exercise. She told all of the nurses to shut up and leave as she recovered. In some cases, there are no signs. He thinks he's being 110% supportive, and says he will, but just drinking when I could go into labor any day is NOT supporting IMO. My husband was behind me holding me up while I squatted when a nurse looked at him funny and said You dont look so hot. He finally comes back as I was about to go investigate (and by investigate, I mean cause bodily harm) and explained that he had food stuck in his teeth so he had been trying to floss it out!!!!!! "I'd had bad diarrhea and an irritable stomach . Needless to say, he was NOT happy about that statement but I don't care. (I don't think he would like that job much!). I think he needs a friend intervention - sounds like he would not listen to you. examples of crazy crap your husbands pulled while you were in labor. Hes only a casual race fan, btw. Whats worse is that his parents brought him back to the hospital drunk as a skunk. Silverstein had her first child in a hospital, with her husband present. After 38 hrs of labor, My hubby looked at me, with this serious look on his face, while Im pushing our daughters head out, and saidwell that was easy, can we do it again? (It meaning have another baby)i told him sure, but you can carry it this time!, After I had a surgery on my left breast, my husband asked what he would were to an event! We had time though E was scheduled to be induced and, although I didnt realize it, I was actually in labor the whole night before. Once we got to the hospital, though, he was great. My husband and I heeded the advice and packed a bunch of snacks. When my nurse came in to reposition me I said, can you please wake my husband up his snoring is driving me nuts She did, and he said, well who can get any sleep around here with that beeping(referring to the sound of our sons internal fetal heart rate monitor) It was driving me nuts so I put the pillow over my head!. -Carrie, My husband rested the magazine he was reading on my legs while I lay dying WITHOUT an epidural. Thank goodness he was great the rest of the time or Id be a widow, not a divorcee. So I drove the 40 minutes to the hospital solo. Here are 12 Natural Ways to Induce Labor. Well, after 21 years we are still happily married and you have to realize that you have to take the good with the bad. However, we did talk about it; and he truthfully would have been so embarrassed to call and ask his mom (or my parents) to drive me to the hospital if need be, because he wouldn't feel comfortable driving. When your partner needs help, they will reach out to you. Not only is he really annoying when buzzed, which will piss me off and make my pain and anxiety higher, but he can't drive! Probably my biggest moment of suppressed anger started on the 2nd of December, 2006. This has nothing to do with "men being stupid". She gets anxiety from any surgery, so her anxiety was high. He cracked jokes the entire time, including asking my medical team (all women in masks) what they were making in woodshop. (I am not worried about a ride though because we have a ton of family and friends that could take me in a pinch.). The doc said that was waaaaay too much and really unhealthy. Imagine youre married to an alcoholic husband who drinks daily and beyond the limit, only to create a nuisance later. 14 Things to Do With Kids in NYC When Its Super Cold Outside, The Mommy Shorts Guide to the East Village, The Mommy Shorts Guide to the Meatpacking District, 11 Sweet Places for a Kid-Friendly Dessert Date in NYC, Harlows Hip Hop Class is the Perfect Palette Cleanser to Last Nights Debate. Of course, I ended up delivering at 230 AM and when I asked for something to eat, the doctor told me Id have to wait until the cafeteria opened. Are you kidding me? When we had our first child, I was nesting like mad crazy the night before (I was in labor, and my house had to be clean for my mom). pinterest.com. April 2011. Can I Use Soju Instead Of Sake; Kentucky Sheriff Vehicle Inspection Fayette County Second, that is way to much drinking for a regular basis. Dear Amy: I am 63 and my husband (of six years) is 67. Kept busy being a working mother of 3 children, one with Aspergers, renovating the original money pit and drinking too many coffees in the space of 24 hours. He moved there from the recliner when I got up to walk down the hall to get myself a drink. I ended up having a C-section and he decided it would be best if he waited in the recovery room instead of coming into the E.R. So, do you maintain the rage? He went home to sleep in our bed so he could get some rest. My husband fell asleep while I was in labor and was in such a deep sleep, the anesthesiologist had to maneuver around him in the chair in order to do the epidural. This was 1959, and husbands werent allowed in labor and delivery anyway. Why do I remember the date so well? It can vary widely. However, this may all change come December when I'm giving birth to our first child. I was asking in honor of my pregnant sister (aka Dr. B) and planning on posting some watch-outs for my very nervous brother-in-law before the big event. I think you should talk with him about this (perhaps a counselor as well if talking to him alone won't work? What bugged me was that my husband didnt want to call into work so I was the one who had to meet the girl and her entire family (her, her boyfriend(not the dad), her mom, dad, grandma, step mom, step dad, sister and I think the family dog. Guys like you make it possible for guys like me to find great women and kids. Jackass. When I was in labor with my first son, we had to drive through a snow storm to get to the hospital. His response was, OOPS! I dont thnk so, Omgi cant stop laughing at the thong.Im in tears here There is no pattern. They might be useful in convincing him that he's got a pretty vital role and needs to be really present. I would be wasted if I had 5 drinks. I turned to my husband and asked him to grab me a snack out of our bags. I'm so sorry that you are going through this, I wouldn't wish it on anyone. I woke up at 2:30 to contractions. It was his decision. Thats when the smell of a thousand beers hit me. How to Induce Labor the Right Way. You have a choice as an adult to enable and accept his behavior, your innocent baby does not. I gotta say my husband was good in the delivery room, but I have a whole piece written up about the birth of our 1st, which includes a lot more crap he pulled like hitting every pot hole on the way from out apt to the hospital in Midtown but its way longer than a blog post & when I tried to publish it no one was interested.

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