What did the police arrest the hospital patient for? "Best wishes for an awesome retirement. Unknown, "How do you know it's time to retire? 6. Pennsylvania State Police Department Seal ", "There is a whole new kind of life ahead, full of experiences just waiting to happen. I saw a fruit running from the police recently. Jonathan Clements, Money is something you got to make in case you dont die. Yo momma so fat she sat on the corner and the police came and said, "Break it up!". Personalized "Retired" Travel Tumbler Check Latest Price I get to enjoy all the things I never stopped to notice on the way up. Retirement caps a career and opens the door to long-anticipated plans and dreams. The retired guy goes to the doctor and says, "Doc, I ache all over. A funny retirement poem is a great way to kick off the celebration. Others couldn't imagine not working and will retire when they die. Police departments should continue to hire individuals of the highest possible character, so that young people look at the police in their cities and towns and say, "I want to be like that." "I've missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. We wish you the best of luck When a good cop leaves the 'job' and retires to a better life, many are jealous, some are pleased and yet others, who may have already retired, wonder. Mark Twain, A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams. 49 Police retirement Poems ranked in order of popularity and relevancy. 30. The police had to comb the area. Take Us With You! I was arrested by the grammar police for not using the full stop correctly. Give Without Remembering and If youre not sure where to start, consider a beautifully written piece with this exact occasion in mind. Soni "It is better to live rich than to die rich." - Samuel Johnson 2) Old age, fragile bones, doctor visits, medical checkups and a weak bladder - are you still looking forward to retirement? 11. The job you waited for for 50 years! Happy retirement my dear friend. Live well and prosper. Required fields are marked *. Youll Laugh (or Cry) When You Read These Famous Quotations About Retirement. Maggie Kuhn, Sooner or later Im going to die, but Im not going to retire. Funny cop retirement quotes. All the best! The Wedding. Dave Ramsey. Officer: I notice your eyes are bloodshot. only and are not investment advice. You've obviously missed it. "It's your turn. Unknown, "A retired husband is often a wife's full-time job." George Burns, You dont stop laughing when you grow old, you grow old when you stop laughing. A word of warning. Retirement: When you quit working just before your heart does. Retirement: When you quit working just before your heart does. 62. Honoring Years of Dedicated Public Service, To A Retiring DHS Officer / Senior Leader. RELATED: These Funny Comebacks And Insults Are What Our Minds Are Really Made Of. What are the four food groups for cops? We keep a photo of you in the office just remember that you now are in your garden, drinking your coffee and we are doing your job man! You will always have a home here. 50. Custom and user added quotes with pictures. I can't take it any more! Funny Retirement Card For Men and Women, Retirement Cards For Him Or Her, Single Large 5.5 x 8.5 Happy Retirement Cards For Women, Large Retirement Card For Coworker - Karto - You've Worked 32 $849 FREE delivery Wed, Feb 15 on $25 of items shipped by Amazon The word "retirement" strikes a chord with all human beings. Goodbye Tension. Showing search results for funny police retirement sorted by relevance. - Gail Sheehy. Dishes the police. forget that the highest appreciation is not Connect with peers and experts, About The police are working tirelessly to catch him. Absolutely hillarious retirement one liners. We strongly recommend that you seek the advice of a financial Gail Sheehy, "Retirement, a time to enjoy all the things you never had time to do when you worked." If you don't mind, it doesn't matter." - Mark Twain "Retirement: no job, no stress, no pay!" - Unknown "Retire from work, but not from life." - M.K. We help. Unknown, "The harder you work, the harder it is to surrender." Betty White, "He who laughs last at the boss's jokes probably isn't far from retirement." 34. As she dug through her purse, she became more and more agitated. Retirement Party. The information presented is based on objective analysis, but it may not be the same that you When I was 65, I still had pimples. George Burns, You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream. C.S. Officer: Do you know why I pulled you over?, Me: You were bored and wanted some company?. "Enjoy your new weekends which will last 7 days!". Quote #20. Richard Armour, The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does. of loyal and dedicated service to It is the beginning of the open highway. Unknown, Dont act your age in retirement. We tell 'em to get a life." R.C. May you enjoy your retirement! You just stole my heart. Check out our police quotes selection for the very best in unique or custom, handmade pieces from our prints shops. An officer comes across a man who is clearly under the influence. How Much Does Assisted Living Cost In Sedona Arizona? 2023 NewRetirement, Inc. All rights reserved. Jelly, powdered, glazed, and chocolate frosted. "When a man retires and time is no longer a matter of urgent importance, his colleagues generally present him with a watch" R C Sherriff. What's five times five?" "Twenty five," says Martin. Enjoy your new 7 day weekend A trisara-cop. 59. We know, for example, that after a lifetime of camaraderie that few experience, it will remain as a . See more ideas about funny sayings quotes. Cato, For many people, being asked to solve their own retirement savings problems is like being asked to build their own cars. People worry so much about aging, but you look younger if you dont worry about it. All those years of working and now you can get back to acting like a child again! Present This to You as a Symbol of Larry Laser, "Working people have a lot of bad habits, but the worst of these is work." Looking for humorous notes and quirky messages to write on a sweet card or to use in a speech. Two rounds a day are plenty. General Letter Board or Cake Sayings for . Gene Perret, "Retirement: It's nice to get out of the rat race, but you have to learn to get along with less cheese." Sandra Day OConnor, Retirement is not in my vocabulary. Please dont go now. Author Unknown, Learn how age discrimination can threaten your future, Retirement may be looked upon either as a prolonged holiday or as a rejection, a being thrown on to the scrap-heap. Goodbye Tension - Hello Pension! A police officer arrested a bottle of water because it was wanted in three different states. Plan the celebration with a personalized retirement plaque. Cop: Im going to follow you to the nearest police station. Me: What for? Cop: Ive forgotten the way. Tommy Cooper, Driver: No, officer, its Hi, how are you?'. Gilbert K. Chesterton, Men and women approaching retirement age should be recycled for public service work, and their companies should foot the bill. Best wishes in all your future endeavors. find on a particular financial institution, service provider or specific product's site. You are one of the hardest workers I have ever known. Ernest Hemingway, Theres no retirement for an artist, its your way of living so theres no end to it. A state trooper pulled a farmer over on a rural road and said, Sir, do you realize your brother fell out of the car several miles back?, To which the farmer replied, Thank God, I thought I had gone deaf!, This article was originally published on Oct. 29, 2019, A Man Went Viral For Refusing To Give Up His Spot On A Ride To A Crying Child, An American Mom Shares The Utter Magic Of Danish Playgrounds. Free, Quotes about money, retirement savings and investments. to utter words, but to live by them. 12. Why couldnt police notify the family of the murdered baker? Retirement life begins when the kids move out and the cat gets run over. Join us on Facebook, Twitter and Pinterest. I guess he wants a rematch because hes been following me for about 45 minutes. Before you invest, investigate. 14. So increasingly will be peace. Max Asnas, Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will not have declared you legally insane in order to gain control of your estate. If we command our wealth, we shall be rich and free. Money is only a tool. They aren't going to get rid of me that way." You Shall Always be a Soldier of the Law! Find GIFs with the latest and newest hashtags! Get to know the people behind the company and the mission behind the work, Enterprise Now you can easily and quickly add contacts from your email account (such as Gmail, Hotmail, Yahoo etc. Jim Bishop, Dont play too much golf. 55. Inspirational Retirement Quotes Funny Quotes About Retirement Funny Retirement Quotes For Women Maxine Retirement Quotes Funny Life Quotes Abraham Lincoln Quotes Albert Einstein Quotes Bill Gates Quotes . Doris Day, How old would you be if you didnt know how old you was? A man went to the Police Station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before. Hartman Jule, "I have never liked working. Present This to You as a Symbol of Will Rogers, "Often when you think you're at the end of something, you're at the beginning of something else." Good Luck with Your Retirement which is going to haunt you. Explore our collection of motivational and famous quotes by authors you know and love. What is small, has a long tail and works with the police? Arthur E. Morgan, Before you speak, listen. Nothing happens by accident. He or she who laughs last at the boss's jokes probably isn't far from retirement. more on this quote . Explore our collection of motivational and famous quotes by authors you know and love. Show me a sample retirement speech! Vince Lombardi, Retirement is the ugliest word in the language. We, the Officers of the Hartford Police Why did the coffee call 911? The current institutionally provided retirement plans will not cover people's needs upon retirement. Police Begin Campaign To Run Down Jaywalkers, A truck driver was driving along on the freeway and noticed a sign that read: Low Bridge Ahead. What are the cat police called? Happy Retirement! When I was sixty-five I still had pimples." POLICE OFFICER WIFE, Personalized, Prayer. Retirement is like coming home one day and telling your wife honey i m home for good. He asked, Would it make a difference if I told you Im in the Air Force? The police officer replied, Yes, but only if you were driving an airplane.. He approaches her and asks, Are you OK? The woman replies, Yes, but how do I get to the hospital? The officer says, Just keep standing there.. They said he was a real pro for a first offender. 64. Hey Girl I'm Going To Retire Some Day Cheers To You Time To Come Out Of Retirement I Didn't Choose The Retired Life Did I Save Enough Money For Retirement Alcohol Retirement What Is This Retirement I Can't Wait To Retire What Do You Call A Person Who Is Happy On Monday Morning Retirement Here I Come I'm Late For Work Again Retiring Like A Boss I got stopped last night by a police officer. My dogs dont even own bikes. "Congratulations on your retirement!". Will Rogers, Aging seems to be the only available way to live a long life. I am graduating. Jeanne Moreau, Its paradoxical that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesnt appeal to anyone. The best funny retirement wishes for coworkers and colleagues include: The days of 9-5 are past! comprehensive, reliable. 31. Dianne Nahirny, "A lot of our friends complain about their retirement. Weve also compiled some police officer happy retirement messages and wishes if youre looking for an inscription with a little more flexibility.